Girl. I want to hug you.
I resonate with you so much on this. Mom voted for Clinton. Dad voted Trump. My mother was so disappointed in his choice she made the election an off-limits topic of discussion out of fear it may destroy their 41 year marriage.
She and I shared similar hurts regarding Dad’s choice: how can someone with a wife and daughter, someone who has never (to my knowledge) acted in a womanizing manner, support someone who makes comments about “grabbing women by the pussy”?
It is my belief that most of the white male Trump Supporters don’t agree with most of what Trump says. More likely, the white male feels pretty under-attack these days. They like having someone in power on their side. And as happens with most people when feeling threatened, they find it hard to be rational, logical, and empathetic to others.
That’s the hardest part of this — attempting to be empathetic to the Trump Supporter. People who don’t have an intimate relationship with a TS have this view that they’re all horrible people. And while my dad can be equally demeaning and offensive while in an argument with his child, he is a good man. He is 74, putting his health at risk five days a week to continue to be one of two volunteers at his church food bank during this crisis. “The poor need access to this food now more than ever, and if I’m not there to help, they could starve.”
Based off the description you gave of your dad (when he wasn’t angry over politics) it sounds like he’s a good man, too.
At your age, I lacked the emotional maturity to recognize the human behind the Trump Supporter (then the Sarah Palin support, I guess?). 22 year-old me would had a rift form between my dad and me. Good on you for examining that and accepting your dad for what he is, even if you can’t agree with him.