… relationship while sitting at home waiting for a partner to just magically appear out of thin air. You should be actively using dating apps and going to social events so you can meet new people. Maybe even ask your friends or family if they…
I must disagree with you on this. I too have had healthy and unhealthy relationships. Have had friends introduce me to ‘Mr Perfect’ and have tried online dating far too many times. I largely joined Medium a little over a year ago to share an article on why I stopped the habit.
Long and short – we all have an ideal person in our mind. If you want to meet that person, you need to be actively participating in the activities that person would be participating in.
If your ideal person is someone who sits on their phone all day, waiting for someone to want to go to dinner with them, then online dating is the ticket.
But if your ideal person is someone who will go to the museum with you, go on hikes with you, take you to nice restaurants, travel with you, then you need to be doing those things on your own. Don’t wait for someone to come rescue you.
You meet people who enjoy museums by going to museums and talking to other patrons. You meet fellow travelers by traveling, whether by going it alone and staying in hostels or by joining a travel group. You meet fellow hikers by hiking well frequented trails or joining a hiking MeetUp.
By online dating, you mostly meet people who are so unsatisfied with their singledom that they are actively advertising it like a vacancy at a shitty motel.
And you’ll come out of both of them the same – more lonely than when you started, save for the companionship of your new friend Chlamydia.